


The Frosted Glass

by iyuuu



Category: Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: Angst and Drama, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, F/F, Have I mentioned Angst?, Mental Health Issues, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Post-Black Eagles Route (Fire Emblem: Three Houses), Post-Canon, Post-War, no beta we die like Glenn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-13
Updated: 2020-07-13
Packaged: 2021-03-04 17:54:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,387
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25240459
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/iyuuu/pseuds/iyuuu
Summary: Was this intrinsic greed of not being content with what you already have which defines emotions as being human? If so, Byleth was not sure it was of many advantages having achieved them. There was no guarantee she wouldn’t become far more despicable than Edelgard could cope with. And as painful as it was to admit, she had doubts if forsaking her bond with Sothis was worth it all.
Relationships: Edelgard von Hresvelg/My Unit | Byleth
Comments: 4
Kudos: 18





	The Frosted Glass

**Author's Note:**

> Posting this was a whim hard to put the brakes on.

Contrary to what most thought, Byleth wondered for a long time what was wrong with her.

It’s not that she didn’t feel a thing. It was more like seeing through a frosted glass: there were some shapes she could discern better than others and assume what they were supposed to be, but they were blurred nonetheless. Whenever someone spoke of the form or she found herself in a situation which it supposedly appeared, Byleth recognized them as such, albeit she couldn’t comprehend how the picture was like others painted them to be. The colors were not vibrant; shapes, not precise; and on her fingers, plain and cold to the touch.

To the dull eyes of a being hard to inspire, an evenly placed frame of white, violet, red and black was the first to catch their attention and show what colors were supposed to be like. After this one glided in front of her, there were other sets to take form and become unique and discerning.

Were her gloves that cleaned the glass from their side?

Byleth could see colors separated but joined, lines that did not let them smudge with the scenario, each person definitely themselves. Even the monotonous mixture of black, grey, and white that always followed behind her motivator. A world of diversity unfolding before her eyes, making her mechanical mind understand that life wasn’t all about doing the job and surviving.

But there was still the damned glass.

She was given a choice.

Do you want to break the glass?

Or are you satisfied with seeing through it, close but never really touching?

Existing inside the glass was not an option she participated in, for it was what allowed her to live in the first place. But using her sword to break it was very much her decision, and no one could take it from her.

Without the frosted glass, Edelgard was even more beautiful to watch than she already was. Of all shapes she met, hers was the one Byleth believed to know the best, although with the limiting translucid apparatus between them. Yet, there was more for her to learn and appreciate. Each millimeter of movement of her mouth or brows could be easily detected; no sigh, no matter how shallow, would go unnoticed; no glance lost its details of wordless communication.

How exquisite was that Byleth could feel pleasantly overwhelmed?

Amidst the joy of winning the war and celebration of doing so with as little causalities as possible, the former professor had only one thing in mind. It left her restless and reckless but she did not care. At the Goddess Tower, she pronounced the question which grew even more certain after the glass was gone. Byleth now understood why most people talked about getting jittery when asking it, since she was like that or maybe worse, although she felt that she already knew how Edelgard would probably answer.

What sealed her starting line at being and feeling human was whispering those magical three words. Byleth never wondered she would hear such words scaping her lips, much less how exquisite and wholesome they would make her feel. Her fiancé reaction to them only served to make the feeling bloom with no restrictions. 

Love.

What a great and fulfilling emotion.

Was Byleth fated to never experience this sensation, had she not met or chosen Edelgard?

How unfair. But it mattered no more. Because she had Edelgard in her arms and friends that supported them through war and would continue to while they rebuild Fódlan.

The Ashen Demon, a vessel for the Goddess’s heart, the Enlighted One. Byleth carried no longer the power which prompted her such titles.

But she felt _invincible_.

-

Was she a monster? Was this the reason she was stillborn and, although being brought to life, lived in a glass cage? If this was supposed to keep her from hurting others, they should’ve - _Rhea should’ ve_ \- made it out of a material stronger than glass. She should’ve been warned of the risks of leaving the place she lived her whole life.

In the beginning, all was bright and livid and powerfully grand and blissful and there was no doubt she had made the right choice.

Having a beating heart was terrifying at first, its drumming an unrecognizable sensation, but soon it became like breath: done without notice or warning. Yet, whenever Byleth thought to have gotten used to it, Edelgard would appear at her camp of view and take her off the ground. It only took a featherlike touch of her fingers on her neck; a tint of her lilac eyes full of something she didn’t have words to describe; barely parted lips calling her name, and a warm body modeling its own to fit hers. These were the moments she simply couldn’t forget the pumping organ in her chest that seemed to infect her whole being and its beat appearing in her ears, in her eyes, in her fingers, in her core, in her…

Which led to another sensation she realized having been enhanced: desire.

Maybe Byleth couldn’t affirm to having desired before. Her needs were as plain as her contracted feelings. Somewhat, it was not farfetched to say the former Professor was like a machine, doing the least required to function. The closest thing to liking instead of needing she could account for her own was fishing. Oh! She could include having tea with her students as well. Mainly with Edelgard, she admitted, still she quite enjoyed those sublime moments with each student, when she could see their colors more clearly than before.

Therefore, she comprehended the concept of liking. Desire, on the other hand, always looked a bit too far from her reality, if it really meant what her father spoke of when she asked one day.

He seemed a bit troubled by the question, an interesting change from the indifference she inherited from the man. Jeralt scratched his head and avoided looking at her when he finally had the guts to answer.

“Desire, huh? Well, there’s more than one meaning for it, if we deep dig. But in the end, it means… a wish that is so strong it almost becomes a need, you know? Yeah, that’s it. The best way I can describe is like that. Do you get it, kid?”

She nodded, though still a bit intrigued. A need is a need; a wish is a wish. How can someone want so strongly something to the point of comparing to needing to eat or sleep? In practical terms, Byleth believed she would never really get it.

But it was all before she broke the glass.

And she was glad to learn how wrong she was back then.

Because the growing hunger and warmth that grew inside her since the first time she and Edelgard kissed a bit stronger than usual, proceeding to more kisses like that, to involving more than wet lips on the process, to hands that roamed the Emperor’s body and elicited from her noises which simply drove her _insane_ , those could only be described as desire. She didn’t need to touch Edelgard, to kiss Edelgard, to make Edelgard moan, to watch her naked skin and enamored and embarrassed face, or to gaze her powerful demanding eyes to survive. Byleth could live without it, as she did before even meeting the woman. However, at the same time, once she got to know all of this, it was like she couldn’t and there was no explanation of how she had gone this far _without_ Edelgard. Because she liked, she loved, she needed it, she needed Edelgard so much, she…

She _lusted_. And no one had to explain the meaning this time, for she experienced it first hand.

It was after these carnal encounters with Edelgard that her heart made itself more than noticeable; not because of its beating, but rather because of an indescribable joyful warm grip in her chest when she laid down in their shared bed, her beloved’s ragged breathing audible making the moment even more satisfying.

Byleth was genuinely happy. And she believed this was only the beginning of a fulfilling life ahead of them.

She didn’t know how or when it began to crack, how or when it started.

She didn’t know if she had done something wrong.


End file.
